Back-To-School Tip: Hit STOP

We’ve all witnessed it: that split-second moment where a teenager is faced with a high-stress trigger, and in the blink of an eye, they react. Maybe they receive an insulting text and immediately smash their phone, or they get overwhelmed by a teacher’s feedback and storm out of the classroom. These rapid, intense reactions are driven by impulses. These sudden, unreflective urges bypass the logical part of the brain and pull us into  behaviors that make the situation significantly worse. During the high-stress transition back to school, these impulsive action urges are incredibly common. Learn this simple, clinically proven mental pause button that can keep you out of trouble: The STOP Skill.

STOP Skill

STOP is a distress tolerance tool designed to physically and mentally interrupt an emotional spiral before an impulsive choice is made. Next time your teen feels an overwhelming urge to lash out, run away, or turn to an unhelpful coping habit, teach them to follow these four simple steps:

S (Stop): Do not just react. Freeze! Do not move a muscle. Your emotions are trying to hijack your body, but you are in control.
T (Take a Step Back): Physically or mentally step away from the situation. Take a deep, slow breath. Do not let your sudden feelings dictate your next move.
O (Observe): Put on your detective hat. Notice what you are feeling in your body, what thoughts are racing through your head, and what other people are doing. Stick strictly to the nonjudgmental facts.
P (Proceed Mindfully): What action(s) will make this situation better?”

Choose the path that keeps you safe and aligned with your values. The beauty of the STOP skill is that it doesn’t just work for teenagers. Many caregivers find that using STOP during a heated household argument is the ultimate way to lower the temperature and model emotional maturity for their children.

How to Use This at Home

Model the Pause: When a family conflict starts to escalate, be the first to call a timeout. Say: “I notice my emotions are getting high, so I am going to use the STOP skill. Let’s take a 3-minute step back and come back to this calmly.”

Practice When Calm: Don’t wait for a crisis to teach STOP. Rehearse the steps casually when you are talking. Help your teen/young adult walk through using it in a specific school scenario. You might suggest dealing with a difficult test or an argument with a friend.

Build a Crisis Survival Kit: Help your teen pack 2 or 3 tiny, sensory items in their backpack—like a piece of sour candy to shock their senses, or a favorite playlist on their phone—to help them execute the “Take a step back” portion of STOP.

When the Back-To-School Plan isn’t Working

Sometimes teens and parents can’t solve all of the issues alone. When it’s time to get outside assistance with a mental health or substance use challenge, give us a call at 513.792.1272. We are here to help!